Facebook | Jenny Oleinik

Jenny Oleinik:

"Fuck This Damned Reality...
I hate It.
I wish I could live in my fantasy worlds,
filled with only Love. No hate,No drama,no shit...Just love....

As I just told my dear Fariha Riaz ;
I'll turn into a hypocrite,and be like a selfish PIG and commit suicide
if my dreams dont come true and if my soul's true other half never shows up...
One day in this damned reality."

A Moment Of Criticising Honesty.(About Myself)

I  Wish. . . People Could Look Into My Eyes

And See Everything In Them

That I need to,And want to express and say to the damn world.

--->I will now write about myself and my feelings,

Being honest and admitting everything about my self.

I am Jenny.

I am a complex human being.

I am made of two halves,as one.

Two completely different halves

That make One- Jenny Oleinik...

I am a half of,
as i have been told... An Angel..
People have actuallly valled me an angel ...
They said there is a light in me,
　I understand them oh so well.
　they see me as perfect,
　they compliment me,
　are jelous of me,
    Some want to be me
　and what not...
　I find it shocking and crazy.
　And that half is oh so passionate and caring
　and understanding and beautiful and loving...


Then there's my other half,
　the dark half,
The Ying of the yang,
The thorns,
　The messed up,cruel being.
The one that expects way too much from the world,
when at times i dont even give that myself....
　That's fucking awful.. and i do that.. I admit that.
　The part of me that hates humans
for what they have become,
for how they behave,
the half that's slightly obsessed with the bit of uniquness it has,
and at times it's kept alive by the fact that nobody is as good as her. . .
When actually...
It could all be lies.      Im admitting that.


I am such a jelous cow. I admit it.
Envy seems to adore taking over me at times.
Life and friendships/relationships get hard at times because of that.
I do want someone all to myself.
 but In life,that aint gonna be possible. .
Because the damn world doesnt revolve around damn me.

I get jelous and hurt when I see a friend dear to telling me how
important somebody else is to them.
I hate it.  Im admitting it.

I can be very ugly.
Im admitting it. Yet i say that alot when i see my face in the mirror.
Im not BEAUTIFUL. If i was,i might be happy and proud.
 The only physical beauty i see in myself,by myself, Are My Eyes.
if only everybody could just pay attention and look through them.


It pisses me off when people get everything they want (or sometimes dont even want)
And even more,and they dont even deserve it.
 I admit it.     Because when i tell that to myself,
 I am in a selfish mood because I try my ass off at shit that I really want,
and yet I never get anything.
 And that makes me a hypocrite- I admit that.
I am a huge hypocrite at times.
 And i can be extremely selfish. I admit that.


A while ago,I did a test.
It was Numerology. I believe in all that stuff-Astrology,Runes,Numerology,etc.
 So,when I read my MASSIVE results,I was even kindof shocked..
It tottally described me to the core of my soul and every bone marrow in me.

'Because you are so highly charged, you experience the consequences of a two-edged sword. You possess great abilities, but indulge in much self-reflection and self- criticism. You often feel highly self-conscious. You are aware on some level that you stand out. Even when you try to blend with your environment, you often feel conspicuous, alien, and out-of-place. ..'
I criticise myself. ALOT.    I admit that.



I am a fat cow- I love to eat my food.
 I admit that.  At times,Im like Joey in friends :  'JOEY DOESNT SHARE FOOD!'
Because im hungry at times,and selfish,yet again.
 And I am now 10 kilos overweight. And its MY fault - I admit that too.
I need to loose them. Or else
1) I'll never be happy.
2)My mum,photographer,grandmother and director will always keep telling me to my face or behind my back,to my mother.
3) I'll always be jealous of other girls in stageschool or auditions,or places
    because they're all skinny-long-haired-pretty people.

 Plus,The camera adds a loud of kilos.
So,I am even more fatter in a video or photo than I already am In reality.
So cop onto yourfuckingself Jenny and stop eating shit.
Hey,At least I know all this and admit it to myself.


Well....Right now its 3:05 am. And thats quite alot of criticising.
For now anyways. That's all I have,for now once again.
Whoever reads this,Thank You for reading
 and I hope that now you might have an
insight into my personality.Even just a wee bit.
I cant really think of anything right now...
 So, Jenny - O u t.   ~JenN.||♥



<>



Ahhh.  S C A B I O R.

 I wanna eat him up.

And let him snatch me.

So,The first snow in Dublin
Decides to fall at the end of November,eh?
 It's been freezing lately. Like SUPER cold.
 School is awful. Being without a proper roof,and not allowed my own scarf and boots,etc (To keep me WARM) Does NOt help. So,It sucks severely. -___-

Winter is pretty. There are so many beautiful things to find. Like the frost's designs on your windows in the morning when you're off.
A cobweb of a spider,that is covered in snow and rain particles.
The beautiful,glittering crystals in the snow.
Mmm ♥

 But nowadays life has been hard for me.
 I feel selfish,broken,alone,depressed and jealous.
 Its called being HUMAN.
 But...It's too hard and dissapointing for me,sadly.


Anyways,I took theese when the first snow well out,
On Saturday morning last week.

This was a piece of ice

That i found on a table in my garden.

Some water froze over,and created this :']

That morning,I felt awful,from the night before..

Some friends made me feel like shit and some bailed on me.

Anh,was the only one kind enough to think about me.

Even though she was hoping to meet up with a new friend

which was meaning to be more important than me.

But...She's a good hearted one.

Though I tend to get so damn jelous because she loves others

And some more than me. Im just so lucky to have her,

But a part of me wants her all to myself- Hense,Im a shelfish cow.

But Anh,being the kind soul,

Came over to make me feel better. And we went out for a bit.

<--Priceless. ♥

   

[[.Freaked.2010.]]

Westside Stage School presents
      F R E A K E D !

Ahh,Twas an amazing weekend :']
I love Westside,this was my third show with them.
It gets better every time.
Im so very thankfull for them too.
For Elizabeth Ennis,and Liz madden ♥ for having faith in me,
and thinking I have potential,back in 2006 when I was awarded the Junior Student of The Year.
Like my mam said this morning,It was given to me at such a good time because we were having job and money difficulties,
and also after that I opened up and realised I can sing,and I love singing. As well as that,I became more confident.
So,Im so thankfull for those two amazing women. ♥


The show was on tis weekend that passed-Twas Saturday,Sunday and Monday (Yesterday)
It was such a great experience!
It was hallarius backstage, but also stressfull as hell,well..Because its showbizz!
  Show Bussiness is probably
  The Hardest
and most stressfull of all.
No matter what people  tell you.
The stress of having all the costumes,props,effects,people,dancers,singers,clothes,etc etc ETC!
The stress of knowing all the moves,choreography,words,etc.
It reeally is STRESS. But most of us are just made for that kinda thing. Well,not MOST but alot.
And in Westside,I sure can tell who's made for that kinda thing.
There are a few people who were just made for being beautiful and talented in the Arts. [':

It was HALLARIUS backstage.
We were telling the crappiest jokes me all knew,
as well as being THE most dirty-minded girls
you could ever imagine!
Ah,jesus we're perverted.
It was GREAT though.
It felt less stressfull,and more fun and exciting.

I took 799 photos altogether.
(Yes I looked at my camera just now)

Touching up on Make up ;]

 This way--->

Myself,Angela,Kelly-Anne,Muireann and Gemma.

<----Everybody/// (Domino!)

<---- Hannah :] One of the Little German piggies ;D

<---Dressing Room 6,Our room ;D

N O M   N O M

Sexy ;DD

-->Hayley and Hannah ;]]

ARRGH!

We're pirates! ;D

As you can see,

We took MANYYY photos,

and had an amazing time backstage ;D

^ This was on Saturday night,

after opening night,

Myself and Angela were waiting for my dad.

I entertained myself by getting theese type of pictures ^O^

I Love it!

Saturday.]]

Yeah,That is completely true,with me.

I live like that. Ive been living with a head infested with fantasy ever since I was a small girl.

I remember,as a four-year old kid,I would read fantasy books,

Watch all theese cartoons and films about fantasy creatures,stories,etc.

I LOVED it. And god,Im 15 and still do. But hey,Im not gonna hide it and change.

It's who I am and I am who I am.

Today,I woke up early(My mother woke me up)

And I got up,dressed up,etc and did some quick warm-up excercises for my voice.

At 2pm,I was off to vocals with Rachel,My vocal teacher.

She helped me with Fill,Fill A Rún O (A beautiful,Old,Irish song ♥)

Which I have been learning for November.
Ive been invited to go over to Latvia for a singing competiotion,and I need a song in the language of the country you are living in and then one of your choice. (The song of my choice is All That Jazz!)

I went everywhere today with my dad,He drove me to and from vocals,

and afterwards we spent a few hours at the library :')

I love the library. Obveusly I would love it more if there were no snobby,stupid kids running around,

and if it had like really old amazing books,and more books on Wicca..Yeaah,that would be great ♥

But outside there were two shelves with books they wanted to get rid of.

They were selling them for 50c,so i bought six hehe :']

I then spent the rest of the day at Aisling's house,

Doing yet another 'JenN.PhoTography Mini shoot' with her and Angela.

We're going to take part in a photography competition,

to raise awareness of mental health. Took some photos,and we're just gonna see what we have.

Why not give it a go? You never know,anything can happen.

So,Im in my room now. Going to look up stuff,read some stuff and then sleep.

Full day of rehersals with stageschool tommorow-Oooh,tiring,stressfull,sweaty stuff.

I look so different and silly with all my stage makeup on.

Nobody recognises me!

I Look silly hehe :'P

And yeah,I have to do this for tommorow.

AND the full weekend of like 6 shows at the theatre,The Helix.

Im looking forward to it though. A whole year of work,about to pay off I hope.

And this will be my third show with Westside. It gets better every year!

The show's this coming weekend! Dear god,Im excited and sooo scared!!

Well,Thats it for today.

JenN -   O U T ♥

D R E A M   Big.

And dont be afraid of anything.

Dreaming is a good thing.It helps me get through life.

Because guess what?

Life Is HARD.

Im sure almost every other human would agree.

Sadly,we cannot do anything about that,we just have to live,keep living and try survive this ride.

If you keep on dreaming and believing,It'll help :']

Ive got big dreams. Very big expectations,of myself.

And sometimes,of course,me being human and having breakdowns(Damn teenage hormones),

It gets hard,and I break down. And of course i sometimes have those times when I think

'Ah who am I kidding? It'll never happen!'

 But You can  Never Think Negative.

Thinking negative is bad!

The world is like a mirror.

It reflects good and bad thoughts ,emotions and feelings.

If you are constantly thinking negative thoughts-

The earth reflects it all back to you.

 Thats why even MORE shit keeps happening to you.

So,as much as I am a hypocrite and find that hard to do that myself at times,

We all just HAVE to keep going like that,and keep thinking positive!

But as for now,

Jenny- O U T  ;]

Dont worry,Be Happy and have F U N. ♥ (: